General guidance on building and maintaining a healthy, happy relationship.
It was 11:30 on an April Saturday, on a busy brunch patio in Austin. My friend Maya had brought her boyfriend Jake to meet me. Our server was a young guy with a nose ring who was clearly slammed. Our eggs took about 25 minutes, which was annoying but normal. Jake snapped his fingers and … Read more
It was 9:20 on a sticky July Thursday night, and Ethan’s fan was rattling. I sat on his couch renewing his car registration on my laptop. It was already two weeks late, and he had a $25 fine coming. He kissed my head and said “you’re so good at this stuff” with a grin. I … Read more
Last Sunday at 3 pm, we drove home from Costco with no detergent. I had asked him twice, in the gentlest voice I own. He laughed and asked why I did not just tell him plainly. That question stuck with me the entire drive home. I realized I had turned a simple request into a … Read more
I sat in the car outside the store on a Sunday. It was 3:15 and Mark had just asked me a small question. He asked why I grabbed almond milk instead of oat milk. I talked for a full minute about dates and prices and memory. He blinked and said he was only asking, not … Read more
Jake went quiet on me last Thursday at 9:47 at night. We were standing in our living room arguing about a canceled trip. I had just found out our long weekend plans fell through because of his work schedule. He stopped talking halfway through my sentence. His face went flat and his answers turned into … Read more
My boyfriend Nate gripped the wheel tight when I pointed out the exit. It was 6:15 on a Sunday, driving home from his parents’ house. I only said the next exit looked faster on the map. He went quiet for the rest of the drive home. That silence taught me something about how he hears … Read more
Ryan asked what color to paint the living room last Sunday at 4:15. I said I don’t care, pick whatever you want. That was a complete lie, and I knew it the second it left my mouth. I actually hated the gray sample he had picked. This habit started long before Ryan and I ever … Read more
Last Tuesday at 9:15 pm I found six takeout menus on the table. I had planned every single one of them myself. My boyfriend Theo sat scrolling his phone with no plan in sight. He never once suggested where we should go for dinner. That night something in me finally snapped a little. I was … Read more
My best friend Renee told me the truth in a coffee shop on a Sunday in October. She stirred her drink and said he was not my person. It was 3:15 in the afternoon and the place was nearly empty. I remember the espresso machine better than my own answer. I had been dating him … Read more
Last February I sat across from my boyfriend at our kitchen table with the pasta going cold between us. He was scrolling his phone, and instead of asking for what I wanted I said, “You never listen to me anymore.” That sentence bought me a defensive shrug and a colder dinner. What I actually wanted … Read more
